“The Top Ten Rules I Learned as a Food Writer” by Nevin Martell, page 2

4. Sometimes the food is going to suck.

At a tasting dinner a couple of months ago, I was served a dessert that the chef pumped up as a “moist, amazing finish to your meal.” Except it could have been used as a hockey puck. I guess the dessert didn’t get the memo.

5. Get your freak on.

Recently I’ve eaten and enjoyed tripe tacos, sour cream and onion flavored dried grasshoppers, and foie gras mac ‘n’ cheese. Some–if not all–of these dishes might sound disgusting to some diners, but I enjoyed them. I’m not saying I’m going to make a regular habit of snacking on desiccated insects, but I’m a more informed eater now that I’ve tried them.

6. Be a cereal killer.

It’s not that bran cereal is my favorite breakfast foodstuff, but on a day when I know I’m going to be eating three varieties of hot dogs for lunch and three kinds of fish for dinner, it’s nice to have at least one healthy meal. Somehow it manages to assuage the guilt of trying a quartet of desserts, too.

7. Dumb guys wear white.

Eating food can be a messy business, no matter how good your manners are and how vigilant you think you’re being. I can’t tell you how many times I’ve walked looked down to see a splash of wine, a dribble of sauce, or a dark splotch caused by a lost medallion of beef. To prevent this evidence from showing itself too clearly, wear a dark shirt. If you insist on wearing white, make sure you tuck a Tide pen in your pocket.

8. Judge food, not taste.

I was recently eating dinner with a talented food blogger who was hesitant to try a rabbit dish. She had never eaten it before and was loathe to dine on what was originally a cute little critter. Rather than dismiss her dislike, we spent some time talking about her fear and working through it. Then she tried it and loved it, so now she’s going to order it every time she sees it on the menu.

9. You can never work out enough.

I’ve gained ten pounds since starting my new profession and I had to buy a new belt after the last one ran out of holes. I am on an exercise bike right now and I will be thinking about what my final rule is while I’m doing sit-ups. If you want to eat pork belly and booze-spiked milkshakes for a living, this is the price you pay.

10. Try everything at least twice. Three times is better. Four times might be what it takes.

Your palette evolves, so you have to constantly check in with it by retrying foods. I didn’t like the saltiness of olives, the texture of squash, or the sharpness of espresso when I tried them as a kid. Now I can’t imagine living without any of them. If only I could outgrow my childish dislike of snails, then I’d really be making some progress.
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