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Mark Cugini
Mark Cugini comes rough and tough like an elephant tusk. The managing editor of Big Lucks, his work has appeared or is forthcoming in Everyday Genius, NOÖ Journal, Stymie, and Petrichor Machine. He is a staff writer at The Lit Pub and curates the Three Tents Reading Series in Washington. DC.

I bought my cousin Billy O'Reilly's book about the Lincoln assassination for Christmas. I think it's pretty fucked up that a) the dude offered no new insight about the assassination and b) that I gave that him some of my money).

Alissa Fleck
Alissa Fleck is a poet from Minneapolis, currently pursuing her MFA at The New School. She has been published in the Argos Books anthology Why I am Not a Painter, the FutureCycle Press anthology American Society: What Poets See, online at Failbetter.com and Thoughtsmith literary magazines, and elsewhere online and in print.

I was in a ukulele band in the third grade. We only sang songs in French. I remember someone made us ride on the back of a car all through town for the Fourth of July parade, strumming our ukuleles and singing French songs. I felt like I owned that town. I have played many instruments since, but that was probably the highlight of my musical career. I think there has always been a performer in me just dying to get out. I had a brief acting career as well. I was a pirate in my college's rendition of Rosencrantz & Guildenstern are Dead. My only real objective was to swing dramatically onto stage from a rope hanging from the rafters. I never mastered the swinging bit. There were some real logistical & safety concerns. I actually fell quite a bit. When my parents came to see the play they had no idea I was even in it. That was more or less the end of my acting career.

Garland Gallaspy
Garland Gallaspy, CEO of Dreams Unlimited, currently resides in Nashville, Tennessee. He wants to know what you've been up to and would like to photograph you naked. Give him a call at 615.306.5442 with any questions or concerns. Or if you're the futuristic type, try him at iamnotjuliemartin@yahoo.com. He thanks you for your time and attention.

Jesús Ángel García
Jesús Ángel García is a writer, musician, filmmaker, singer, dancer, whiskey drinker, sushi chef and discreet lover who will not post stories about you with jpegs of your cream on his face if you sleep with him. His fiction and non-fiction have been published widely. He contributes a column,Beyond Books, to Electric Literature’s The Outlet, and performs songs from the soundtrack to his debut novel, badbadbad, in a string trio called Three Times Bad. It’s a thing. It's all here.

I wrote this fucked-up novel, made a fucked-up film and soundtrack of songs related to said novel, did a fucked-up summer tour (more than 30 shows across the country at great personal expense), got seriously fucked up (most days it was like being back in high school), wrote a bunch of fucked-up blog posts about it, which cemented my rep in the "indie lit community," fucked up my relationship in the process -- she said she needs "a more relaxed lifestyle" -- and yet I can't seem to stop. I'm now finishing a new book that's so fucked-up only fuckups will want to read it. I like to keep my friends close.

Francesco Grisanzio
Francesco Grisanzio is an MFA candidate at The New School. He is originally from Massachusetts, where he attended UMass Amherst. His work has appeared in Why I Am Not a Painter, Strange Machine, and Interrobang!? Magazine.

When I came through Ellis Island, I changed my name to Francesco from Frankenstein, to avoid the typical old country stigmas of being a monster. I barely made the trip in one piece, kept falling overboard. Stiff knees

Kate Jenkins
Kate Jenkins was born and raised in the Midwest. Having recently completed her MFA at Columbia University, she has recently exited New York for somewhere else. Her poems have appeared in or are forthcoming from Midwestern Gothic, Barn Owl Review and The Boston Review.

I enjoy lying to chatty taxi drivers.

Rachel Kaufman
Rachel Kaufman is a freelance science writer whose work has appeared online at NationalGeographic.com, ScientificAmerican.com, and more. She lives in Washington, DC with her fiancé. Despite having interviewed plenty of mad scientists (as well as scientists who were only slightly ticked-off), she can't shoot lightning bolts out of her fingertips, which is so unfair.

The most fucked-up thing that ever happened to me was when a landlord I was illegally subletting from drove over to my apartment to scream at me for mis-sorting the recyclables. A week later he drove over to scream at me again and evict me for unintentionally insulting his best friend. I moved all my shit out by myself to an apartment a few blocks away, while the two beefy dudes who were the other subletters watched TV and/or watched me struggle with heavy boxes. When I came back two weeks later to collect my security deposit, the landlord's wife, who wrote the check, asked, kindly as can be, if I needed any help moving and told me that she and her husband both thought I was a sweet girl.

It's not that I'm still bitter, all these years later, but Tim and Cammy Brooks, of 2111 West 8th Street in Pittsburgh, Pa., if I ever see you again I'm going to put #4 plastics into your #3 recycling bin and laugh in your faces.

Nevin Martell
Nevin Martell has been writing about food and culture for more than a decade and a half. His work regularly appears in the Washington Post Express, Washingtonian, Capitol File, Washington City Paper, Cheese Connoisseur, Plate and Restaurant Management, as well as online at the Washington Post’s All You Can Eat blog and on Eater DC. He is also the author of four books: the small press smash Looking for Calvin and Hobbes: The Unconventional Story of Bill Watterson and His Revolutionary Comic Strip, Standing Small: A Celebration of 30 Years of the LEGO Minifigure, Dave Matthews Band: Music for the People and Beck: The Art of Mutation. When he’s not eating, typing or procrastinating, Martell enjoys traveling, jogging, baking, gardening, photography and falconing (Okay, that last one is a total lie, but it would be a cool hobby. Go, Mordecai!). You can find him online at www.nevinmartell.com

I had to eat an entire pig’s head – brain, cheeks, tongues, eyes and ears – for a restaurant review. Surprisingly, it was damn tasty, though the eyes were a bit gooey.

Adam Meyer
Adam Meyer is the author of the novel The Last Domino and recently finished his second novel, When She’s Gone. He’s has a short story in the upcoming Mystery Writers of America anthology Vengeance and has also written television series for the Discovery Channel, the History Channel and National Geographic. Despite his upbringing, he still can’t pronounce consigliere.

Josh Schneider
Josh Schneider is a pisces living in brooklyn. He enjoys shooting skeet, tennis, and archery. While currently finishing an MFA at Columbia University School of the Arts, he hopes to find employment in digital media. He cannot break dance very well, like, almost at all, really.

Fault-wise I'm a total self-indulgent sensualist. I stay up all night chain smoking and reading or watching or listening or tasting or touching. Most people don't realize that humans have many more than 5 senses. I serve the Serpent, hail Satan!

Amanda Smeltz
Amanda Smeltz is the author of Imperial Bender, a full-length poetry collection from Typecast Press out in early 2013. Recent work has appeared or is forthcoming in Barrow Street, H_NGM_N, Pax Americana, and [PANK]. She balls out of control as the assistant poetry editor for Forklift, Ohio. She serves wine, oysters and baby pigs in a Manhattan restaurant. Buy her a drink.

Martin Luther and I have the same tattoo, arched across our abs: SIN BOLDLY.

Amber Sparks
Amber Sparks' work has been featured in various places, including New York Tyrant, Unsaid, Gargoyle, Wigleaf, The Collagist, Smokelong Quarterly, and elimae. Her chapbook, "A Long Dark Sleep: Stories for the Next World," is included in the anthology Shut Up/Look Pretty, out in February 2012 from Tiny Hardcore Press. (But you can pre-order it here) She is also the fiction editor at Emprise Review and a contributor at lit blogs Big Other and Vouched, and lives in Washington, D.C. with her husband and cats. Find her online at www.ambernoellesparks.com

Oh, and the fucked up thing that's happened...hmmm. Lots of things, but the one that comes to top of mind is when I got in a car with a guy who was trying to steal my car stereo once. It was completely ridiculous -- I got in the car without paying any attention, and there he was, just sitting in the car on the passenger side. Me and the car stereo thief, alone on a dark deserted street. And then of course instead of getting out, my idiot brain made me open my idiot mouth and start screaming at this guy to get the fuck out of my car. Which, to my immense surprise, he did. Though he took my keyboard as he ran (I was in a band at the time and stupidly kept some of my gear in my car) and he chucked it in a Wendy's trash bin and it got all messed up. In retrospect, I'm pretty lucky he didn't attack me or anything. So I guess that was pretty fucked up.